Diese Liebeserklärung an meine Langzeitgitarre findet sich auch auf Facebook, deshalb auf englisch. Ich möchte sie Euch Nicht-Facebook-Nutzern nicht vorenthalten:

I have never been the kind of gear – loving musician that a few of my fellows are, but some of the stuff I carry around and make noises on has become quite important to me over the years. I’ve been getting questions on my guitar ever since I bought it in 2008, probably because of its unusual form and looks – it’s not a commonly known instrument I guess.

It was made by Johannes Vogel (www.vogel-guitars.de), who invented the „balance“ concept in the 90s, as far as I know. After owning a black, baritone – scale VOGEL BALANCE guitar in 1999 and getting it accidently destroyed, I had big trouble finding a new one – a used one, because I couldn’t afford to ask Mr Vogel to make one for me. It took me 8 years to find the guitar I’m using right now on eBay, and I’m proud to say it cost me only 90 (yeah, that’s ninety)  Euros. It had no scratch on it and has probaly been used only a few times in a living room. Well, that has changed since I laid my hands on it.

I’ve played around 400 gigs on this instrument over the years and it is, more than any other of my gear, a real masterpiece in my opinion. Not because of its sound – but it has been dropped, scratched, left in the hot car for days during summertime, drunks have stumbled over and spilled beverages in it. This 90-euro-instrument has been tortured in many ways, believe me. And it never ever stopped working. It just kept doing its thing, as if to say: „Fuck it, brother. We’re in this together, I won’t let you down“.

I’m thankful. This is a long – term – relationship that I plan to not get out of.

Unfortunately, as in all relationships, over the years you notice some annoying things in your partner. You can, of course, live with and try to ignore them – but in the end, there’s going to be trouble. Sooner or later you’re going to be unsatisfied. You’re going to shout at each other, throw things against walls and stuff. And eventually even break up with each other, just because of that ONE ANNOYING THING she does. Still talking about guitars, right?

The great thing about guitars is: If something’s wrong, you can get it fixed. Find a professional to do the job. Get her back after a few weeks in the hands of a professional and fall in love with her again. It’s going to be like your first date with her, just you already know what she feels like. (Keep in mind, we’re talking guitars.)

So this is what I did:

My ninety-euro-vogel-balance-guitar has been left behind in Kassel, Germany at Heiko Hoepfinger’s BASSLAB (www.basslab.de). This guy makes some of the most amazing instruments I’ve seen so far. He’s a pro and I have faith that he’s going to treat her right. He’s going to do things to her that even I haven’t done before. In a few weeks, I’ll get her back, all shiny and probably a bit more satisfied than I’d expect her to be – but, it’s going to be alright. She’s going to look a little different, but she’ll feel just the same. Can’t wait to get her back.

In the meantime, I’ll use some other guitars on stage that I haven’t touched in a while. It’s going to be interesting, and it’s going to feel different. In the end, when the BALANCE is back, I’ll probably forget about the others immediately and just stay with her again.

Man, I only wish women could be as easy to handle.